The Book of Useless Similes
As mingle as whale
As dance as cardigan
As drama as sedge
Lucerne like negritude
Immolation like a frankfurter
A tickle like a garbage can
As Helvetica as Norwich
Grackle like tincture
As forest as glimmer
Nuke like tanager
Restless as pao
Gerrymandered like tone deaf
As cuttlefish as dustbunny
As antiquated as iguana
As spiked as notion
As flow as tintype
As boom as purchase
Color like catastrophe
Bean like electron cloud
As theater as marzipan
As Lorelei as rampart
As banana as Ibrahim
A torture like dispensation
Noodle like armature
Release like burrow-owl
Awl like teenager
As orchard as tuna
Dispel like anchorite
Foil like turtledove
Orbit like omicron
Levity like fashionshow
Chow-chow like framework
Tank like harbinger
Naturalize like Waukesha
Titillate like evidence
As crucifix as divertimento
Rally like roadkill
Simper like jargon
As fumarole as switchback
Damage like corn pop
As Pope as wool
As ape as Cornwall
As dent as mote
As random as fizz
As extramarital as ecosphere
As rigid as rhyme
As Grendel as architecture
Wax like lung
Trash like hemisphere
Theory like bantam
Exoskeleton like Eeyore
As grain as noodle
As dark as sphagnum
As deer as ice
As sap as archway
As negative as sheep
As tankard as braincase
As murder as metaphor
As racial as burl
As noticeable as abstract
As cereal as Argonaut
As quince as abbey
As orchard as lamprey
As damage as wrinkle
Mendacious as barbecue
Undercurrent like prioritize
Aluminum as fuck
Dance like midwife
Enter like cheese
Roof like albatross
Essence like goat
Rumble like mountain
Excel like Snodgrass
Empire like larch
Resemble like Enoch
Enable like sassafras
Scandal like toenail
Edge like freedom
Mark like attitude
Darken like analog
As tablet as nature
As circumvent as Mercedes
As righteous as crackle
As duet as earnest
As favored as chicle
As numinous as apple
As effort as cheddar
As music as refuse
As numerous as legislate
As match as wrangle
As tank as tab
As roots as tangle
As masticate as satellite
As matrimony as escarole
Binnacle like marshmallow
Dirty as semaphore
Oceanographical like woodlouse
As silence as foeder
As dingle as damsel
As mandible as follicle
Trash like Hecuba
Mope like calliope
Creche like hinterland
Mind as potting shed
Dredge like nuclear
Crash like ambergris
Reckon like rock tumbler
Fragment like neutralize
Act like oscillate
Divine as doorknob
Flambeaux as rationalize
Timber as lubricated
Vape like singleton
Ask like ethanol
Oil like origin
Titrate like estimable
Grant as famish
As tire as strawberry
motive as cephalopod
tangent as miso
regent as woke
turbid as photoreceptor
reveant as nacho
foolish as stank
metaphorical as oak
staggering as puerile
risible as mud
credence as croquet
dirigible as snowflake
veritable as otters
rigid as consideration
cabbage as fame
similar as nosebleed
tackle like dank
frame like foreskin
crab like Toledo
orange like lapdog
rape as nuclear
tangle like grandiloquence
toodle like ice cream
as fascist as lux
as lurid as matchstick
as crawdad as calcium
as echo as mandible
as credible as pork-pie
as trashy as ileum
as nurture as crème brûlée
as notated as piston-ring
as various as smooth-bore
as paper as crowd
as vapid as lasso
as Dreamsicle as crease
as vegetable as facile
as shell as mark
as marl as dark
as pile as snack
as feral as rich
as rice as rock
as sand as maybe
as meat as joy
as plane as vapor
as wrench as rude
as bark as trash
as wire as sanctified
as wide as warship
as super as promotional
as weave as famous
as shadow as garrulous
as granular as magic
as drive as plastic
as muffin as static
as square as title
as gospel as lye
as quick as candle
as suspension as miracle
as branch as backing
as pincer as lens-cap
as massy as dial-tone
as database as ton
as wreck as headphone
as leather as tendon
as adaptable as mammary
premium as stain
verdant as brand
damnable as coffee
woolen as boys
as salt as abstraction
as melt as lobster
as quail as concentrate
as madrigal as bonesetter
as burble as blurb
as tincture as toast
as silicate as femur
as tummy as ratio
as linger as honey
as peristalsis as rotophone
as member as mouse
as crested as rubber
as tangent as Phocis
as Goethe as grab
as massive as ass
as cytokine as lambic
as neutral as gas
as passion as particle
as moon as noon
as missile as treacle
as terror as tan
as limber as acid
as purple as vision
as languid as linguine
as lungfish as asteroid
as maybe as badger
as pulpit as masticate
as random as roach
as diverse as purse
as famished as pardon
as nascent as dragon
as still as suggestion
as ranch as rein
as rat as rind
as dark as fool
as whet as wine
as tool as mandible
as hawk as heel
as maker as leave
as janky as pain
as matter as mule
as clog as happening
dirt like manservant
franks like astrology
pine like happening
corn like igneous
patch like rattle
frame like verses
bang like batter
time like exegesis
writhe like leases
vapid like vapor
torpor like hangman
biscuit like louver
wrench like tankard
as grass as gross
as murder as dust
as maker as Johnson
as fragile as antfarm
as deciduous as toast
as lingering as Maastricht
as taken as lizard
as fragmentary as star
as ricochet as barbie
as fantasy as nose ring
as guava as chessboard
as laggard as maple
as doggerel as fantasy
as womb as bomb
as wonder as target
as how as milk
coast like turnip
trouble like marmoset
credible like Range Rover
miscreant as seat
dank as receiver
doctor as limestone
merchant as crossroads
wrangle as memory
timely like Sunday
as master as nutritive
as far-fetched as longitude
as wicked as femur
as coffee as campaign
as walk as stopwatch
as tease as tarsal
as vapid as electrolyte
as tensile as harbinger
as treacle as Dorchester
as pean as fiction
dirt like lacquer
as flake as floe
as rasher as shoe
as rose as marzipan
as ester as fine
as roll as hope
as axe as timekeeping
as rushed as ramps
as terror as marshmallow
as tincture as atavism
as whorl as donkey
as black-hole as baby
as divot as doubt
as fidget as fade
as pancake as vapid
as cocktail as simian
as refracted as dissidence
as magic as granular
as pyre as people
as fool as need
as drip as fashion
as dig as skin tag
as callous as kerning
as boil as brute
as whole as mingle
as scotch as blanket
as fragment as tease
as muscle as fedora
as wish as wisdom
as madam as fame
as glad as gland
as picture as funnel
as hammock as funeral
as Bambi as Manhattan
as yank as yes
as motor as murder
as peace as pie
as neutral as sentence
as if as ask
as meat as nurse
as neat as further
as dream as dropsy
as distant as Steve
as linger as permanent
as mass as carpet
as dingo as Django
as barter as fate
as raucous as mimsy
as wimple as neutron
as sandy as crayon
as maple as rambunctious
as facile as dude
as Lamord as Wasatch
file like massacre
ring like turpentine
assimilate like orange juice
asymptote like fumble
tribulate like Donkey Kong
revert like sincerity
recapitulate like Maybelline
tender like two-dimensional
effort like cheese
endoscope like leviathan
femur like fumarole
tankard like Disneyland
scintillate like flex
deviate like underwear
pimple like hazelnut
twaddle like Rosemarie
phantom like tin
loom like lumberjack
tease like Tuesday
purchase as windpower
zip as holeshot
sample as “Free Bird”
wander as mush
banter as Matterhorn
butter as bachelor
doula as Montana
value as Rigel
sizzle as rot
as rat as umbrage
as feasted as brow
as moon as murder
as plastic as power
as deft as donut
as bourgeois as rust
as ramshackle as trident
as dark as stopper
as chopped as cheese
as classy as membrane
as ransom as stoat
as burdened as flour
as fancy as lodestone
as ripped as rimmer
as tangled as twist
as binge as Labrador
as fight as mansion
as glass as Benjamin
